Dante
by Kalimando
Summary: This is the prequel to Essay by Jubilation Lee. Jubilee, Rogue, Kitty, and Bobby. My characterization of these guys is a bit edgy, so expect swearing & general teenage antics. Originally published on my ezboard account & through xmmff.


**Dante**

Disclaimer: With the exception of Dante, all characters belong to Marvel.

* * *

"Dante came from an exceptionally fine line of ferrets whose ancestry dates back to ancient Greece."

"Bullshit, Jubilee."

"Okay, so he came from a pet store in Nevada, BUT!..." there was a dramatic pause as Jubilee turned to meet every face at the lunch table, completely ignoring the rolling of eyes and smirks on every face. "...if you look closely enough, you can totally see the royalty in his eyes."

Kitty piped up, "Yeah. He's a royal pain in the ass and he's been chewing on my pillow again. I swear to god, Jubilee, if he..."

"Summers!" Peter coughed discreetly into his fist, effectively putting an end to all things Dante.

It was amazing and something of a miracle, sure to become a school legend in later years,that Jubilee had managed to sneak a ferret into the mansion right under Scott Summers' nose. The man who never missed anything was completely ignorant to the fact that a very active, very naughty ferret was living just down the hall from the room he shared with Jean Grey. But then, Scott wasn't really given the opportunity to notice anything out of the ordinary as Jubilee found numerous methods of diverting Scott's attention... at the price of her own freedom. She set a new record, amassing the highest number of detentions the school had ever seen. It was a small price to pay if it ensured that Summers remained in the dark.

The tread of approaching feet sounded anything but light and happy. "Ms. Lee. My office. Now."

Jubilee gave a heavy sigh, purely for show of course, "Coming, Mr. Summers." She waited until Scott retreated out of the dining hall before grinning widely at her unsurprised friends. "Wonder what it'll be this time. I already waxed his car this morning and dusted the library yesterday. Anyhow, I'll see you all back at the room." Jubilee had taken to recounting every detention to her friends back at the room over a bowl of popcorn. At times, Jubilee' detentions were better than watching the hottest flick at the box office.

* * *

The punishment, mucking out the horse stalls, was positively the most disgusting and vile punishment ever inflicted upon Jubilee. So much so, that she actually began to wonder if enlightening Summers  
might be a good idea. Smelling like horse manure and sweat, Jubilee trudged up to her room, anxious to bathe before `Story Hour.' It was several moments before Jubilee realized that the door to the room she shared with Kitty and Rogue was ajar.

"Why's the door open? You want Dante to..."

The room was empty. Empty meaning no Kitty, no Rogue, no Dante. Panicked, Jubilee began searching under all the beds, in the bathroom, in every crevice, nook, and cranny. The musky ferret scent, usually present in their room, was much fainter than it had been earlier in the morning, Jubilee realized with growing horror. Either her friends were playing a very sadistic joke, for which they would pay dearly, or Dante had escaped. Sinking down on the bed, Jubilee tried to think positively, "Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Fuck, I'm so dead," only to arrive at the same nightmarish thought. There was a ferret loose in the mansion and he could be anywhere. And if Scott Summers found out, he was going to kill her and barbeque Dante and serve him as an appetizer.

Still in a state of shock and disbelief, Jubilee didn't even bother looking up when her roommates burst through the door. Her recent punishments were going to seem like child's play compared to what Summers was going to do to her if she didn't find Dante- and fast. But locating the furry little devil was not unlike searching for the proverbial needle in a haystack. How many rooms did the mansion have? Not that it mattered, for Dante was small and could (and often did) wiggle his way into any impossibly small opening that caught his fancy.

Rogue and Kitty immediately noticed Jubilee's gloomy expression. It was one of doom.

"Dante?" asked a tentative Kitty.

Nodding, Jubilee continued to stare at her floor. "Someone left the door cracked and now he's gone." It wasn't accusatory- she never would have believed that her roommates would purposely leave the door open regardless of how they felt toward Dante or the numerous times they had threatened to kill him.

"Maybe he'll get bored and come back?" offered Rogue.

Jubilee snorted. Not bloody likely. She knew her ferret and it was rather obvious that Rogue had never owned one before. Ferrets were notoriously bad and Dante was probably having the time of his life. A mansion full of endless possibilities... why in the world would he want to return to a closed off room anytime soon?

"I'll leave out some treats or something in case I can't find him.  
Maybe food will lure him back."

Rogue then spoke the words Jubilee had been thinking. The thoughts she'd been dreading. "You don't think he got into anyone else's room. Like..."

That was all it took. Jubilee winced. It'd be just her luck, blame it on bad karma, for Dante to wind up in Summers' room. How many ways were there to die? Whatever the number, Scott was sure to add to the list. If Dante did manage to find his way into Scott and Jean's room, could she sneak in unnoticed? Would she even be able to get into their room? If not there was always Kitty...

"What?" asked Kitty. There was a certain gleam in Jubilee's eyes that meant she was plotting something.

"Hey Kitty, you think you could... you know. Stick your head in their room or something and look to see if he's there?"

"You mean phase in their room, stick my head in?"

Jubilee nodded, trying her absolute best to give Kitty the `poor hound dog eyes' expression. It must have worked because Kitty agreed to it, albeit not enthusiastically.

"Fine. Hopefully the two lovebirds aren't in there."

It was a true mark of their friendship. Kitty was willing to risk having her head chopped off by a pissed off Summers in order to save Dante's furry little butt. Jubilee resolved, right then and there, to attend Kitty's funeral and speak kind words about her dear departed friend if it did indeed come to that.

"Good luck" Jubilee shouted at Kitty's retreating back.

Not long after Kitty phased through the walls, there was a knock at the door. Naturally, Kitty would have phased back through the walls so it wasn't her at the door. Frantically, Rogue and Jubilee pushed any items which might be considered contraband, under the bed. The door opened and Jubilee half expected to see Summers carrying Kitty's head on a silver platter. Both girls visibly sighed with relief when Bobby stuck his head in.

"Everything okay?"

Rogue jumped up excitedly, "Hey!" and pulled Bobby into the room then quickly shut the door.

"Dante's gone. He pulled a Houdini and vanished so if you see him, smell him, or find any traces, let us know. Preferably immediately. If Summers finds him before we do we're..."

Bobby couldn't hold back the grin on his face. Sure he had the hots for Rogue, but this was too much. "You two are so dead. But I'll help look for him," he added quickly after catching a glance at Jubilee's perfectly murderous stare. Jubilee wasn't anyone he wanted to tangle with- not when she had the ability to produce a firecracker under your ass. If it weren't for her unfortunate mutation, Rogue would have kissed Bobby right then and there even with Jubilee in the room. Another member recruited to help search for that infernal Dante, no pun intended.

"He's definitely not in here anymore. Can you check downstairs?"

Maybe it was the way Rogue batted her eyelashes innocently at him... or was it her intoxicating Southern accent that made Bobby want to do anything she wanted. No. It was neither of those. Quite frankly, it was her body that captured Bobby's heart, soul, and groin.

"Follow your nose," advised Jubilee. "If you detect any musky-like scents, that'll be Dante. I think we should split up too. It'll look a bit suspicious if we all search the mansion together." Jubilee was an expert on this as she had the reputation for being responsible for most of the mischief that occurred at the school. When Jubilee strolled down the hall with her comrades in tow, the faculty sounded  
the alarm.

Rogue nodded in agreement. "Kitty's going through, literally, this floor. We might want to wait till she gets back. Maybe she found the little basta... guy."

All three turned to stare at the wall which Kitty had phased through. "She should've been back by now. We'll give her 5 more minutes and then we'll have to split up and search. I'll leave her a cryptic note or something, letting her know we're looking downstairs."

When Kitty did reappear, it wasn't through the wall but the conventional method of bursting through the door. "He's in Logan's room," she panted, her hair all amiss as if she'd just completed a strenuous workout. "I almost had the asshole too, but he did some weird dance and hiss type thing. You sure he doesn't have rabies?"

Breathing an audible sigh of relief, Jubilee shook her head. "No, it's a ferret war dance. He's excited. And I'm going to forgive you for calling him an asshole."

While her relief was great, Jubilee found that they had even a bigger problem. Dante was in Logan's room which meant that even if they did manage to find and bring the ferret out, Logan would know  
that not only an animal had been in his room, but a couple of teenagers as well. Nothing escaped that man's olfactory senses. Looking on the bright side, if Logan popped his claws, she and Bobby could always find sanctuary behind Rogue. Everyone knew that Logan and Rogue had a special relationship. Translation: Logan wouldn't kill Rogue.

Calling in one more favor, Jubilee pleaded, "Kitty, do you think you can manage one more phase? I need you to get inside Logan's room and unlock the door for me. Then Bobby and Rogue... you two can stand guard. But don't look like you're standing guard or anything. Act nonchalant. Flirt or something."

Crossing her arms, Kitty headed out the door. "There'd better be a nice fat reward in this for me, Ms. Lee."

"Yeah, I'll make sure Dante doesn't piss in your bed," she muttered, following Kitty out of the room. She knew she was asking a lot from her friends, but getting that ferret back was crucial!

Jubilee appointed Rogue as head guard and raced down the hall to Logan's room. She didn't have to wait for Kitty to unlock it- the door was already cracked by the time she arrived. Dante's scent... god there was no way Logan's was going to miss that... greeted her even before she walked into the room. Kitty was standing against the wall, half hidden in shadow.

"Last I saw him, he'd darted under the bed."

"Dante," Jubilee crooned. The noise didn't come from under the bed, but from across the room. It was a ferret's dook. Ferret speak for extreme excitement.

"Come here, boy," she continued to coo, slowly making her way over to Dante. There came another dook and then a furry blur shot past her and out the crack in the door.

"FUCK!"

She followed after only to witness Dante perform the weasel war dance. His mouth was wide open, his white teeth shone, the tail puffed up and out, and then he was gone. Just before Dante shot like  
a cannon downstairs, Jubilee swore that he was smiling, daring her to follow after. Rogue had made a futile attempt to snatch the creature, but Dante was just too damned fast. She looked over her  
shoulder apologetically. "Uh, Jubilee? Isn't Summers' office downstairs?"

It was what Jubilee had been thinking. God, it sounded so much worse when spoken out loud. "Yeah. It is." With trepidation, Jubilee approached the stairs. Was that the JAWS theme music playing in the background? Nervously, she began her decent down the stairs which seemed to have sprouted poisonous fangs and claws.

At the bottom, she came to a dead stop. Scott Summers was standing not 4 feet away firmly holding a very pissed off Dante by the scruff of the animal's neck.

"I. Am. So. Dead."

"No, but this..." he held up the hissing animal, "...is. My office. Now!"

Jubilee stared in horror as Scott stalked off to the garage with Dante in tow. There was nothing to do but sit in the death chamber and wait. Even before she'd reached Scott's office, Jubilee formulated her act of revenge. By tomorrow evening, Scott Summers, Mr. `High and Mighty, Stick Up His Ass,' could kiss his Mazda RX-8 goodbye. By the end of tomorrow evening, the RX-8 would have a new parking spot... on top of the school's roof.

* * *

**A/N: ** This story is a prequel to "Essay by Jubilation Lee." A bit of background info: Ferrets are believed to have originated in Greece. The dook and weasel war dance mentioned in the story are  
authentic and rather amusing to witness. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

This story, and the one titled Essay by Jubilation Lee, was inspired by events that took place on my RPG X-Men site. Thanks to Dani & H for their permission to use fragments of dialogue (Kitty/Bobby).


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